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Синди Филлипс / Cindy Phillips
#76
Отправлено 30 июля 2009 - 01:20

cindyphillips.blogspot.com
Quote
WEDNESDAY, JULY 22, 2009
Things change......
"Hold fast to dreams, for if dreams die, life is a broken winged bird that cannot fly."
Hello!
its been a while... from this pic you may be able to tell i am in a wedding dress! Yes, i got married!!! It was an amazing wedding, amazing day and i am looking forward to amazing life togther.
I've sorta been collecting my thoughts and trying to put togther in my head what i wana blog. Its taken me a while as u can see and still i am unsure what i am typing....i'll give it a whirl i guess![]()
Things are pretty good with me, although they are changed. As you guys can remember back a few months ago i told you i was getting ready for my pro debut at the Tampa Pro show......well as it got closer i knew i needed more time, so i had changed plans and planned on competing at the Atlantic City pro show instead. Sounds familiar huh?? this is the exact thing i did last year, except this year was even worse. .....i was flip flopping all over the place, wanting to compete, not wanting to compete, dieting, switching diets and then i just had to stop and DECIDE for REAL. It took me a while to make a firm decision i didn't keep changing. I did make one though, I have decided as heart breaking as it is for me, i will not be competing anytime soon. Somewhere along the way in the last 2 years since turning pro, my passion and desire faded and has not been strong enough to keep me focused. I have fought it and fought it and refused to quit, refused to move on.....but it was a losing battle. Being focused and driven for a couple days does not cut it, you need to be 100% into every aspect of bodybuilding in order to do it well. I have realized now that as much as i believed i still had so much passion for it, the passion got lost along the journey...
It is so hard to let go of who you have "been" for so long. I don't know who i am, if i am not "Cindy Phillips the bodybuilder". But for me right now in my life i want to be just "Cindy".
The stress of wanting to compete and not being able to physically and mentally, feeling failure in my mind over and over again has taken its tole on me. I have felt very defeated as i could not understand why i couldnt do it physically and mentally anymore.....i just kept thinking that i had done it before. But it wasn't failing i realize now, it was just me trying to figure out what i want and where i wana go...
Sometimes life takes you in directions that you didn't imagine you would go. I did not think that i would be telling you right now that what i need is to be away from bodybuilding. It feels strange and awkward to say it but at the same time my body and mind feel a sense of ease and relief.
I know i am letting alot of fans down that have followed me throughout the years. I truly am sorry that i am not out there competing for you guys and for the sake of womens bodybuilding. I hope you can understand where i am coming from. I do not know when or even if i will compete again, i will leave that to the passion that lives within me to decide...
All my love,
~ Cindy ~
"It is a mistake to look too far ahead. Only one link of the chain of destiny can be handled at a time"
posted by Cindy Phillips @ 1:28 AM
может обе детей решили завести?

#90
Отправлено 03 сентября 2009 - 07:58

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its hard to belive summer is now ending! I remember when i was younger all the anxiety i would have right now awaiting school days to begin. I dont miss that! The day light is getting shorter and shorter too, if only it could be nice all year.
Things have been good with me.....strange though. You know its weird having a differnt mind set. For the last MANY years of my life i have either been preparing for a show, or "offseason" or just inbetween. But i was always had that bodybuilding mind set, always had my training, my meals, my schedule on my mind. My life was lived around what i was doing in regards to bodybuilding. So its nice to wake up and just do what i want, go to the gym when i want and just have a differnt look on things for a change.
I do hope and plan to come back to bodybuilding in the future, but for now im enjoying my life just as is!
All my love to everyone who has always believed in me! its YOU that will keep me coming back for more.... i hope to keep my fans and come back even better down the road!
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